It's My Life

Yeah. I just quoted Bon Jovi.

Anyway, it is my life, and lately, it's been CRAZY. But in a completely awesome way. Like in a "OMG, I am so busy but so many things in my life are going so well and I'm just so freaking content with everything that I really can't complain" kind of way. Like I'll sit at Starbucks on the weekend (when I have five seconds to breathe) and just people watch while I think about how great it is that I live in Chicago and can see all types of people everyday. Or I'll sit at my desk or on the train and almost start to smile out of nowhere as I think about something funny or kind a friend has said. Yes, I am feeling good enough about life right now that I am allowing myself to be completely and utterly cheesy.

Let me start by telling you about this new job. I'm working on the catalog for a major industrial supply company, which isn't the most glamorous thing on the planet, but I really enjoy the work. And the company seems to really value its employees which is SO MUCH more than I can say for the old one. I'm not trashing my old company because I met some really great people there and learned some priceless skills (and because I still freelance for them so I suppose I still sort of work there), but I never felt like they actually paid any attention to what I did. In my new position, I actually get a lot more autonomy in how I work and plan my assignments, but that just makes me feel like they trust my intellect and my ability to get the job done. Plus, almost everyone there is really friendly and helpful (I've met so many people who just strike up conversations on the train or in the caf) and they all seem to like their jobs. I guess a nice salary, full benefits, 100% tuition reimbursement, and countless other perks don't hurt either. Oh, and the other girls in my department are so much fun --lunch is like comedy hour. Besides my commute out to the suburbs (only an hour there... 1.5 on the way back) and the early hours (I get up at 5:30 so that I can leave my house by 6:15), I like everything about this place. And I am now a huge believer that job satisfaction contributes to life satisfaction.

I've also still been freelancing so I have extra moolah to spend on things I've been wanting to do forever. Like personal training! Which is awesome because as I mentioned before, I'm getting my ass kicked and I'm getting to know all of the trainers at the gym. I've always been an avid gym goer, but it was always just me and my workout. Now, going to the gym has become a social event. I say hi to people as I walk in, I joke around with my trainer, and I've even gotten together with other members on weekends to go for long runs.

On top of working, freelancing, singing (one of the guys from my a cappella group actually was IN "The Breakup"...ha!), and working out, I've actually been having a really great social life, which I think is a huge contributor to my immense happiness as of late. Not that didn't have friends before, but now that I live with one of my best friends, things are a lot easier. First if all, we can be each others' kind of built-in support systems. And we meet each others' friends and are both constantly expanding our social circles. And the thing about real-life friends is that you don't have to be friends with people you don't actually like. I know that sounds terrible, but in college, sometimes you had to put up with people who weren't your favorites because you were in the same group or sorority or whatever. Now, the friends I have are the ones I've chosen to keep up with. And the friends I've made lately are so great and supportive and fun on top of everything else (sorry, I'm gushing, I don't DO that). I just am feeling so fulfilled and blessed in my life. I'm not dating anyone but I'm feeling more optimistic about everything and my confidence is almost back up to its old obnoxious level so I've been talking to a lot more guys.

For a while, as much as I tried to cover it with humor, things were not going well and I felt like I was in a very dark place. Not to get all serious on you, but I feel I need to give a little background as to why I'm so happy about, well, being happy. For quite some time, I was not myself and people who knew me had noticed. But recently, I came home for my aunt's surprise 60th, and so many of my relatives were telling my mom that I just seemed so happy and that it looked like I had it all pulled together (which I don't, but it's nice to hear!). Finally, I think I was showing that I was happy living in Chicago and that I had come back into my own. Things are just finally getting back on track and I am so thankful for everything in my life... I guess this is a fitting Thanksgiving post then, isn't it?

Anyway, I know this wasn't a good story and didn't flow exceptionally well and wasn't all that humorous, but I figured I'd let everyone (or anyone who still reads) know why I've been so crazy busy and MIA lately. I am going to try to get back into blogging regularly too, now that we have Internet (yes!). For now though, I'm going to read/watch the cable I don't have in Chicago/let this Turkey day food coma wear off. Hope everyone else has something to be thankful for as well!

White Wedding

So, recently I attended two weddings, in one of which I was a bridesmaid and for another I was a wedding singer. Because you know, I have the voice of a freaking angel.

The first was the worst wedding on the planet (I referred to it as the nuptials from Hell before) and was so draining because over half the church and the bridal party thought it was a bad idea. And we had said so. Many times. The bride's side was practically dying and no one smiled and it was one of the tensest situations I've ever been in. Also, the minister was reeeeeallly driving home this "subservient and obedient wife" thing and a friend's father said he had never heard the word 'fear' so many times in one hour. (And we Catholics thought our guilt was bad!) Anyway, as I may have mentioned before, I was a women's studies major and I do not take very kindly when religious texts use the phrase "the weaker vessel" to describe me as a female. And just because the term "whore mongers" is in the Bible does not mean it needs to be included in a wedding ceremony. So apparently my expressions were not church friendly as I was facing the congregation. I may have actually turned my face away from everyone a few times because the anger showing on my face was getting offensive. I know that sounds rude, but you honestly had to be there. I have never been to such an unhappy occasion. After the ceremony, the brides maids and the bride's sisters and cousins all went into the parking lot to drink wine. Out of plastic coffee cups. Because we're classy like that. The epitome of, even.

However, the other wedding, which was my cousin's, was absolutely beautiful and was the most fun I've had in a long time. My dad's side is a little more crass and they all hold back a little less. They also drink A LOT more, which was fun for me! I think I danced to about 75% of the songs, including every line dance imaginable. In fact, my sister and I taught everyone the moves to the Love Shack. Apparently we are two of the very few who know it...anyone else learn it when they were younger? I've been doing it since age seven in my country club swim team dance days. Then we learned it again in gym class in seventh grade. Nevermind. I had a weird childhood. But back to this fun wedding. We danced a ton, played with all of the little ones that I never get to see anymore now that I'm not in Michigan, drank too much wine, and heard my somewhat introverted, 31-year-old cousin rap "Bust a Move" in its entirety over the DJ's microphone. OH, and I saw a football player from my high school who was a year older than me. We chatted for a bit and I learned that after going to school for three years, he dropped out and moved home. Then he became the bartender at my cousin's wedding. I'm going to hell for this, but I found it veeeerrryyy funny.

Anyway, this last wedding totally made up for the previous one. And between both of them I picked up some ideas for my own (possibly-never-happening-because-I'm-going-to-die-alone-with-cats) wedding. First, even though I do want a traditional, religious ceremony, I will not be allowing readings that tell me to fear my husband and agree with everything he says. I don't agree with everything that anyone says. And second, we will do the Macarena and we WILL have an open bar.

Endless Love...

I LOVE Trader Joe's. Like, if Trader Joe were an actual man, I would probably propose. All of their stuff (good quality!) is so cheap and I feel like most of it's pretty healthy (besides the chocolate-covered everything that they have in every single aisle). My bill is much lower when I shop there than when I do at Whole Foods...which means more food! And things I don't really need. Plus the employees seem really nice and helpful. And their ads are cute and funny. I could probably go on and on. But let me tell you why I was so inspired to tell you how much I love TJ's on this day in particular.

The thing is, I was just able to create a dinner that didn't include oatmeal. All because of Trader Joe's, tonight did not end in a culinary catastrophe and I didn't have to just eat lots of carrots and hummus for dinner. (Although, I did that anyway). Thanks to TJ's, I actually made chicken with steamed veggies on the side. Well, that was partially due to the Glad steam bags I have, too, but whatever. (I know they make me seem lazy and are not super eco-friendly but OMG my veggies come out so perfectly steamed!) Anyway, I bought TJ's frozen, seasoned, grilled chicken to pop in the microwave and Voila! A meal that looks like it actually took some work. Actually, having to keeping checking on it was a lot of work for me. But STILL. This gives me hope that I will not be a kitchen klutz forever. Baby steps, people.

I was going to take a picture, but then I forgot and just ate it. Oops. Anyway, I am on my way to get coffee, run to the gym, and think more about the delicious meal I just made.

Homeward Bound...

There's always something about coming home that simultaneously puts me at ease and stresses me out to the MAX. Now that I'm an "adult," living completely on my own (and more than 45 minutes away from my parents), there are little comforts that going home brings -- like toting home a suitcase full of laundry to wash sans the roll of quarters, not freaking out about every dollar I spend, and always having someone to talk to and/or hug. However, some of those same things put me on edge as well --having my dad tell me I'm not washing my socks properly and having my mom ask me what I'm doing every second of the day. However, my sister and I know that our parents just miss us so we complain about it together, knowing that there are worse things than having our parents love us a little too much.

This weekend I came home for Mother's Day and because I hadn't been home since St. Patty's Day/my old a cappella group's concert weekend. I actually arrived in Ann Arbor late Thursday night so I just stayed with one of my best friends from my sorority and we went out with another friend I sang with. We had a "total undergrad night" (my friends just liked saying that because they graduated two weeks ago) and hit the Jug and even Rick's (always a mistake, but sometimes a really fun one). Even though last night was majorly silly (I really don't have a better word and I would use 'ridic' but....well I just can't and take myself seriously haha) and I maybe drank too much, it was such a GOOD night. I was really happy being back and I only saw the people I really wanted to see, the people who actually still care about being friends after graduation. I'm not being cynical or bitter here, I think it's totally natural to drift from people after you leave the protective college bubble. However, I really do appreciate the people who wanted to see me when they heard I was coming back. It meant a lot, especially because some of those people I still keep in touch with are the ones I never expected to stay close to. More on that some other time though. Anyway, it was so great that I felt good being back, because last time I was there, I felt really panicked about being back and had such mixed feelings about returning to the old college stomping grounds. This time though, I was all excitement and no worries. A wonderful sign that I'm at a good place, even if I'm still not exactly sure what I'm doing with my life.

OK, so that was Ann Arbor. Here I start talking about home and I haven't even gotten to it yet! I do consider Ann Arbor a home of sorts, BUT that was not the original intention of this post. Ann Arbor was relaxing and great, and then this morning Em (the little, yet taller than me, sis) came from East Lansing to pick me up. On a side note, I absolutely adore my sister. She's my best friend in the world, which came as a surprise to me when I realized it during college since we were never BFFs while both living at home. Now, I love her to death and would do anything for her, as I know she would do for me. I do have unrelated-to-me best friends, but my sister is on an entirely different plane. She wins, haha. There's so much I would love to say about her because she is pretty much the greatest person ever. But, again, I'll probably write more on that later. (By the way, if you haven't noticed, I really like tangents. Or they just find their way into my conversations/writing. Whatev. You'll learn)

Right, so. My sister and I drove home and had the whole house to ourselves since Mom and Dad were working. However, I had to work as well (I was telecommuting) so it wasn't a completely relaxing day, especially since we had all of these rewrites and I feel like I can never do anything totally right or efficiently when I work remotely. Oh well, I got to stay in my sweats and work from Panera half the day, so I'll deal with the stress. We came home for the day right as my parents got back from their walk, so we chatted for a few before my dad had to go to a meeting and my mom started planning something for all of us to do for the night (even though alllll I wanted to do was sleep/write). We didn't do anything, but still I felt like we had to had to talk every second and act really interested about every single thing my parents had to say about running into so-and-so at the office or about whats-her-face and the newest country club mom "scandal." I love talking and I usually have lots of energy but.... there comes a time when I can't fake it. Plus, sometimes when I come home I just want to veg out and relax. I think my parents try to cram months of not seeing me into a few hours of conversation when I'm at the house. I'm slooooowwwllllyyy learning that I had better not really make any plans when I'm home or anticipate getting much work done when I come back to GB because my parents will undoubtedly want to spend every second with Em and I and they do not understand the concept of "alone time." Eeesh. I need to work on that because it has caused some major issues with me, I'm sure. We are by no means dysfunctional -- we probably seem like the annoyingly perfect atomic family, to be honest -- but sometimes I think we are a bit too close and I don't feel like I've ever had a ton of personal space or privacy. Love my parents, but sometimes they need to lay off. Yet, again, more on that later. I guarantee it.

It's getting late, and I think I may have lost my train of thought on this one, but the point is that home is still a weird place for me as I'm trying to grow up. Good for hugs and free food, bad for personal space and having any time to myself. I'll figure it out, eventually.