Everytime We Touch

Tonight, right before she went to bed, I asked my roommate for a hug.

That sounded strange, didn't it? The thing is, I'm realizing more and more that one of the biggest things I miss about college and being 45 minutes away from family is the physical human contact. In high school and college, I was super affectionate with my friends and I took it completely for granted. I don't know if it's the fact that I've become a little hardened from living in the city or because I have this notion that adults just don't hug willy-nilly whoever, but now hugging and touching the people I love is not part of my daily life.

I realized that tonight as I (sheepishly) asked my roommate, who is also one of my best friends, for a hug and she said, "Of course! Are you OK?" While I appreciated the hug and her concern, it dawned on me that when needing a hug only indicates that someone is hurting, there's a problem.

The thing is, I come from a pretty touchy-feely family and adore human contact. But tonight, not only was I appalled that I felt silly for asking for a hug from one of my best friends, but I was shocked that I couldn't recall the last embrace I'd had. I ran into a friend on the street on my way to the gym downtown a while ago and when we parted ways, I gave her the biggest hug ever. And before then it may have been when I saw friends at a bar for St. Patty's. And before that it was when my sister visited in mid-February. Guys, I'm averaging less than one hug per week. Sad, isn't it?

Anyway, I think maybe I should try to change this. Maybe that's part of why I've really felt down and not quite myself in Chicago yet. Not only am I losing touch with who I am, but I'm losing touch in general in a very literal way. In fact, hugging has become such a rarity that I've occasionally come close to bursting into tears from a quick squeeze from a good friend. (crazy woman alert) I've never been excessively emotional, but this little act overwhelms me, like someone is throwing me a life preserver and reminding me of who I am and that people are pretty wonderful. You didn't know the topic of hugging could be so philosophical, did you?

As silly as it might seem, I may have to start requesting hugs from my friends. I have plenty of people that I know here, so that's not the issue. It's that I shy away and remain aloof when everyone is hugging in big groups. And on top of that, I forgot how integral it is to who I am as a person and to my satisfaction with life. Hugs should be natural, yes, but I think I'm out of practice, so I'll just have to ask. I read a study somewhere (correct me if I'm wrong) that humans need something like seven hugs per day to maintain a happy lifestyle. So maybe I should make that my number one goal for the month of April (or start now so I can stop being a Debbie Downer ASAP)-- get a hug everyday and work my way up from there.

What do you guys think? How important is physical contact and hugging to you and your happiness quotient?

A Change Would Do You Good

You know what, guys? I am in a serious dry spell. With pretty much every aspect of my life. I'm in need of inspiration from... somewhere. My love life (or lack thereof) could use a little shake up, my workouts have been boring and repetitive, my job is seeming a bit more monotonous than usual (still WAY better than my last one, so don't think I'm not thankful to have a job in this economy), my motivation for well, anything, is almost nonexistent, and I feel like I do the same thing every single weekend, if I really do anything at all. In short, I'm in a rut in a big way.

I'm not trying to be a downer here because I'm not usually a wallower, and I know i wrote about this before, but I guess I just need some advice. I can't get rid of this feeling. How do you shake things up when you really can't make any drastic changes? As much as I would love to move to Italy on a whim and just write and live this amazingly charmed, romantic life, I can't right now. Plus, even if I could, sometimes I'm a little too practical for my own good. I've got all of these grand plans for myself, but I am paralyzed by logic (dammit), and I worry, worry, worry. I'm only 23 (almost 24, eek), so this should be the time when I should try to up and leave the country or do the job I really want to do (personal training while freelance writing... that would be living the dream!), right? That way if I fall on my face, I can easily pick myself back up without worrying that I broke a hip or blew my kid's college fund. I mean... right?

Anyway, back to the original point of this post... how do you shake things up when you have limited room for shaking? Once i tackle that then I can conquer the rest of my big dreams. But for now... ideas?

BTW, this is something new and different for me... I'm telling you to go and check out Kelly T's blog to enter her amazing giveaway! Plus she's freaking hilarious, so if nothing else, you'll be laughing, even if you don't like free, cute workout gear. Which would make you crazy.

Let's Get Physical (Physical)

I know a ton of people use protein powder alllll the time, but I just bought my first jar (bottle? container?) tonight. I feel like such a meathead. If I start talking about my new haircut or Jäger bombs, I urge you to virtually slap me. But right now, I'm in the zone.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

Does anyone else loooove Harry Connick Jr. and that song? Man, oh man, I do. That's probably the song that led me to believe that NYE was this major event. So yeah, Harry is to blame for my unrealistically high expectations of this one night.

OK, sorry! That sounded so negative, but it wasn't meant to because I am actually super pumped for NYE 2008. And I've actually never had a really horrible one or anything. Although last year I made out with a random at midnight who I then could not get rid of until April. Oops. But it was fun at the time!

Anyway, this year we're going to a fancy all-inclusive (still deciding if that is dangerous or not) party at the famous Drake hotel. It's a lot of friends from UMich and some from Michigan State (booo, but we like them anyway), and even if they get boring (that makes me sound terrible!), NYE is always a good night to strike up conversations with strangers. Hmm, that sounded strange, but anyway, for some reason, some holidays make it easier to meet new people. Like Halloween, St. Patty's, New Year's... wait those usually are celebrated in bars and all involve above-average amounts of alcohol. Maybe that's why.

Whatever.

I'm not sure if I'm going to look for a NYE kiss this year. Maybe I should just be happy being single and get excited about a new year in which I accomplish a lot of my goals. Not resolutions though ...I feel like that word just sets you up for failure. The only thing that sucks is that most -- if not all -- of my friends are dating someone this year so I'm odd woman out. However, that does make me the only one allowed to flirt with randoms... maybe there are some benefits!

OK, yeah, sorry, all I have been doing is talking about making out with people on NYE. I did have a real fresh-start, new-year point to make. I've decided to create a list of goals for myself for 2009. I find the more I write them out, the more excited I get about them, and I'm more likely to go for them. The overarching theme of 2009 is living up to my insane amount of potential. I know -- I can be so humble sometimes. But this is one my roommate and I are going to work on together we decided. It's hard to explain, but we've come to the conclusion that we've been overachievers our entire lives and now is not the time to stop. This year will hopefully be a year of accomplishing big things. So, my specific goals for 2009 are:

• Write my book! I can't really tell you what it's about just yet because I'm still a little iffy if the topic I want to write about is acceptable. Hard to explain, maybe I will later, but I can tell you that it will be humorous nonfiction. My life with all of its awkwardness and zany family members should provide enough for at least one book. Or ten.
• Get myself back in fighting shape. I think going from college life to real world where I sit on my ass all day was a really hard transition. But I am bound and determined not to let that stop me! I already started with the personal trainer, and I've decided that by the time I turn 24 (what?!?) in June I am going to be in the shape of my life. There's no reason I can't be. I'm going to get myself back in a super regular routine (I never stopped working out, it just wasn't as intense or structured as before) and get a handle on my issues with food (long story!) so that I can be the healthiest and happiest I can be!
• I guess this is another part of being healthy in 2009. I want to get myself back to where I normally am mentally (sorry, I am being SO vague about the new year!) and take care of myself in every way. This includes getting enough sleep, saying no to things when I am stressed, and maybe cutting back on the drinking (I'm not an alcoholic, but I know I don't need to drink when I go out). I need to respect myself a bit more and trust my own decisions as I always did in the past. No more justifying the things I do because this is my life and my life only.
• Save some green. I'm pretty good about sticking to a budget, but I want to save a bit more moo-lah this year. I want to save up for a few rewards as I'm getting back in shape (new bag, True Religion jeans I have lusted after for over a year, etc), and I do want to visit a friend who just moved, but more than anything, I want to secure my future. I know I'm young, but it's important to start early, so I'm going to save more than what is already going into my IRA every month.
• Date. I'm not looking for The One just yet, but I need to put myself out there a little more. So I'm going to. Simple as that.
• Be able to say that I am proud of who I am as a person. I want to make Sunday mass a regular thing again (I'm a terrible Catholic girl right now!), I want to find a worthy cause to volunteer for, and I want to start looking outside myself more (I will admit that I can be a tad bit selfish at times) so that I can be a better friend, sister, daughter, and person in general.

Woo, that was a long list! What are everyone else's major goals for 2009? And for fun, what are everyone's big plans for tonight?